Its hard to describe Bayonetta without sounding really stupid. One finds themselves in the mindset of the game when discussing it, involuntarily spewing endless nonsense about how you can see her tits when she does a finishing move or how awesome it looks when she cleaves a gigantic baby faced angel in twain with a big fuck-off axe. Truth is, that's just the kind of game it is. Platinum studios and maverick Director Hideki Kamiya have crafted the most insane brawler to ever grace a gaming system. Bayonetta is over the top in everything that it does, whether its letting the player practise the leading lady's insane moves during the loading screens or remixing Fly Me To The Moon into a mental J-Rock anthem, its attention defecit gaming and its fucking spectacular.
Cut from the same cloth as Devil May Cry, the classic that kick-started the brawler craze back in the day yet has since become stale thanks to some bland sequels, Bayonetta doesnt concern itself with such things as originality or substance, it would much prefer to take your games console and beat you half to death with it, spit in your face and smile as you come crawling back for one more play.
The visuals are striking when they settle down enough for you to actually focus (this does not happen often) and the cheesy pop/rock soundtrack just adds to the crazy. Genre conventions are given a unique spin in the shape of lollipop power ups, pre-level mini-games, mid-level score counting and some genius homages to gaming lore. Added to this are gigantic boss battles by the truckload, the aforementioned special moves containing blood, hair and lots of naked flesh, the best merchant since Resi 4 and, of course, the heroine herself- a whirling dervish of death, 10 foot tall, guns in her hands and on her feet, hair a deadly weapon, librarian glasses, posh totty accent- Bayonetta, like the game she stars in, is a perfect creation, a gift from Hideki and Co. to us lucky gamers. Thank you Platinum Games, thank you for blowing my mind.
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